Today I turned 56 years old. We’re also celebrating our 36th wedding annivesary. I used not to celebrate my birthday becasue I believed that birthday celebrations were just for children. Then open heart surgery happened. I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve (2 leaflets instead of 3) that was only found when I was in my thirties after many dizzy spells I put down to the stress of work and having 2 children, one on the autism spectrum and a husband struggling with depression and unable at that time to support me emotionally.
After my surgery, and a long recovery, I realized that every day day I wake up is worth celebrating. I’ve kinda always been a glass half full grl anyway so that’s not a huge stretch for me. But this year, 56, is officially the same age as my dad was when lung cancer took his life. My mum, bless her soul was only 54 when she lost the love of her life. I try to imagine what she must have gone through, losing him so unexpectedly, he was diagnosed and 10 days later he died before they could even begin to treat him. My mum died 8 years later at the age of 62. My determination is to outlive both of them and so, every day I’m still here is a gift.
So with that said, I thought I would share my 5 biggest life lessons so far.
1. Life is what you make it. You can’t always have everything you want, but you can love everything you already have.
2. People are not always what they seem. If you want to realy know someone, look at what they do, NOT what they say.
3. We are ALL struggling to get through life in the best way we know how. Not everyone had the benefit of a nutrturing family. Have compassion even if you don’t understand.
4. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. I heard this the other day and it really hit home. Listen to your inner wisdom and when it says, “enough”, trust it.
5. You can “help” too much. This one courtesy of my then, 14 year old, and very wise daughter. She clearly came with an innate wisdom all of her own.
I tell you all this, not to get your sympathy, but to inspire you to live every moment to the fullest.
What are your top 5 life lessons so far? Drop a comment below and let’s compare notes.
So this happened, and I wanted to share it with you.
When I turned 40, after the loss of both my parents and an open heart surgery, I made a very important decision for myself. I had been struggling through life, trying to be a good mother, good wife and work full time, trying to do it all had left me feeling completely exhausted and depleted of all joy in my life. All the while I had had the ability to see my life through rose coloured specs, ever the optimist, I continued to feel grateful for everything I had been able to achieve to that point, but I felt like giving up on it all, like I just wanted to run away.
That was the magic moment when I made a decision that changed my life forever. I told myself, and said it out loud, “from this day forward I will no longer do anything that doesn’t bring me joy, I will live my life with passion and gratitude and create the kind of life I really want.” In that moment I quit my day job and became self-employed so I could spend more time with my children and rely on my own strengths to make it all work. I don’t want to make it seem like this was easy by any stretch, we struggled financially most of the time and every once in a while I missed that steady paycheck, and there was always that voice in the back of my head that begged the question, “How much easier would it be to have a job like everybody else?” If there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I’m very brave when it comes to facing problems head on and I believe that’s what got me through all the bad times I faced over the years. I cried for a total of 2 minutes when I first got the news that my son is autistic. I have this ability to switch my thoughts to what’s really important in the moment and I knew at that moment, there was only one course of action and that was to pull up my big girl pants and get the job done.
Flash forward to now and this is what’s happened. I have finally found my joy!
I also decided at that time that I would try something new every year to try and find my passion. I painted, first with water colours and then with acrylics, I bought myself a ukulele, (I knew at that time that I needed to bring music back into my life) I made jewelry, I started reading again, or listening to audiobooks, reading really puts me to sleep. Many other things entered my life over the last few years and while I don’t continue to do some of them they all brought a feeling of childlike, youthful exploration and joy back into my life. This year I bought an inflatable kayak and started back to ballet, it’s been at least 45 years since I wore ballet shoes, and I have to say, this is a good one, it’s a part of me that has been hidden deep inside for so many years.
So that’s my passion story, but I’m wondering what is yours? What brings you joy? What can you add to bring joy to your soul and reconnect with your spirit? How can you find a feeling of childlike, youthful exploration and joy?
Drop me a line and feel free to connect with me if you’d like to discuss this subject more.
The caterpillar has no idea how to become a butterfly, nor does he know that that is his fate, he just knows he’s not happy where he is. It’s easy to get stuck second guessing yourself, and “better the devil you know” as the saying goes, sets you up for much procrastination and stagnation.
If all you needed was information to make a change in your life, you would have done it already, there’s no shortage of it out there, heck that’s why Google was created. The real problem is transformation. Why don’t you transform? You know you don’t like where you are, and the information is out there to help you change that, so whats the real problem?
Your thoughts lead to feelings, feelings drive you to action, so if you’re thought processes are off you will NEVER have what you really want because you won’t act or you’ll begin to act and then think yourself out of it. This is the part most people miss and that’s why they never achieve their goals, or they achieve them only to lose it and end up right back where they started.
The answer then is to take one step forward, do something different, agitate, expand and see what happens. You don’t need to know where you’re going, just do something different. You may have heard this before but…
What small change can you make as an experiment? Just see what happens. Exploration is really the way forward, there is no such thing as failure, there’s only lessons, and if you never try anything new but you expect things to change then truely…you might just be a little crazy.
If you’d like my help to figure out where to start, click through below and make an appointment for a free discovery call. On this call we figure out your biggest challenge and then decide what to do about it. I really hope you’ll take a chance, you have literally nothing to lose.
Why Can’t I Lose Weight?
Have you ever asked, why can’t I lose weight and keep it off for good?
When you see weight as the enemy, it keeps hanging around. Whether you want to lose 10 lbs or 110 lbs, the core of the issue is the same: your body is sending you a message much deeper than, “Hey fatty, get to the gym!”
Most diseases and chronic ailments we experience are messages to us about how we have lived our life up until
this point. We can try to cover them up, treating just thesymptom, or we can ask ourselves a new question:
What is this here to teach me about myself?
Weight is no different – it’s a condition your body has presented to you so that you can grow. The body is always communicating with us, each and every day it is tellingus what it needs. If only we were listening. A New Perspective on Weight Gain. Consider that weight gain is actually a message yourbody is sending you. And if you try to control it by depriving yourself, using willpower or restricting yourself, you are only tightening the situation. What is needed is expansion – a new look, an open perspective, a new door to open for learning and growth.
If your weight is a message to you, then what is the message?
It’s different for every person. Some examples of messages that come in the form of extra pounds are:
• I need to slow down
• I need to love myself
• I need more balance
• I need nourishment
• I need to change my old belief system that isn’t serving me any more
• I need to honor myself
• I want to feel good
• I want to have more energy
• I want to be happy
“Can’t I just lose the weight first before I have to look at all of these other sticky issues?”, you’re wondering.
Most people go about it this way. And they often lose weight, but most times it returns. In fact, most diets fail. Ninety-five percent
of people on a diet gain back all the weight they lost within 1-2 years, or sometimes they gain back even more. The reason is, they didn’t learn the lesson of why the extra weight was there to begin with. If you are looking for long term health and balance, you will
have to take a deeper look. Anyone can figure out how to burn calories with a google search or a pass by the diet book section in Amazon. Losing weight is not just about calories in, calories out. Shedding extra pounds is not just about counting points and calculating fat grams, if it were, we’d all be supermodels. Keep in mind that weight gain in not strictly a physical event, it’s also an opportunity for personal growth and empowerment. The real secret is the message your body wants you to know so you can begin to live your very best life. And uncovering that secret is an amazing journey that will create not only long term weight loss, but lasting balance and a renewed sense of self.
©International Association of Wellness Professionals, 2017
Perhaps you’re struggling with a challenge that you just can’t seem to solve, like moving forward towards a new career or improving your relationship with your spouse or partner or you solve it, but it just keeps coming back, like weightloss or sleep problems.
Although it is ideal and most effective, your work with a Health Coach does not need to be in tandem with your medical provider. You may choose to see me simply because you’re seeking support with your efforts to improve your health. As we work together, I may recommend a joint collaboration with your primary medical provider (especially when serious health conditions must be considered). However, don’t let the fact that you may not be working with a doctor hinder you from beginning your efforts.
A Health Coach works:
- To help you learn new tools and practices for overall improved health
- To bridge the gap between medical recommendations from your doctor and your abilities and desires to successfully acquire a healthy lifestyle
- As a means of direction toward your true/complete health – offering education, guidance and accountability on a plan for nutrition, detoxification for overall health, weight loss, and optimal aging
- To assist you in recognizing lapses in your program, which are normal and should be taken in stride, but may lead to relapse, overwhelm and eventual giving up.Together we plan for those times and hang the proverbial “safety net” to catch you and bounce you back on your way to success.
Wellness is achieved by improving on a set of 5 factors related to optimal health:
- EMOTIONAL: The ability to express emotions with comfort and in a healthy manner
- INTELLECTUAL: The ability to learn and use intellectual capabilities to make healthy decisions
- SOCIAL: The ability to make satisfying interpersonal relationships
- ENVIRONMENTAL: The ability to appreciate the external environment and improve environmental conditions
- PHYSICAL: The ability to achieve a healthy lifestyle in the service of one’s own health
- SPIRITUAL: The ability to seek meaning and purpose in one’s daily life
REMEMBER: We are talking about a lifelong journey and permanent change