So this happened, and I wanted to share it with you.
When I turned 40, after the loss of both my parents and an open heart surgery, I made a very important decision for myself. I had been struggling through life, trying to be a good mother, good wife and work full time, trying to do it all had left me feeling completely exhausted and depleted of all joy in my life. All the while I had had the ability to see my life through rose coloured specs, ever the optimist, I continued to feel grateful for everything I had been able to achieve to that point, but I felt like giving up on it all, like I just wanted to run away.
That was the magic moment when I made a decision that changed my life forever. I told myself, and said it out loud, “from this day forward I will no longer do anything that doesn’t bring me joy, I will live my life with passion and gratitude and create the kind of life I really want.” In that moment I quit my day job and became self-employed so I could spend more time with my children and rely on my own strengths to make it all work. I don’t want to make it seem like this was easy by any stretch, we struggled financially most of the time and every once in a while I missed that steady paycheck, and there was always that voice in the back of my head that begged the question, “How much easier would it be to have a job like everybody else?” If there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I’m very brave when it comes to facing problems head on and I believe that’s what got me through all the bad times I faced over the years. I cried for a total of 2 minutes when I first got the news that my son is autistic. I have this ability to switch my thoughts to what’s really important in the moment and I knew at that moment, there was only one course of action and that was to pull up my big girl pants and get the job done.
Flash forward to now and this is what’s happened. I have finally found my joy!
I also decided at that time that I would try something new every year to try and find my passion. I painted, first with water colours and then with acrylics, I bought myself a ukulele, (I knew at that time that I needed to bring music back into my life) I made jewelry, I started reading again, or listening to audiobooks, reading really puts me to sleep. Many other things entered my life over the last few years and while I don’t continue to do some of them they all brought a feeling of childlike, youthful exploration and joy back into my life. This year I bought an inflatable kayak and started back to ballet, it’s been at least 45 years since I wore ballet shoes, and I have to say, this is a good one, it’s a part of me that has been hidden deep inside for so many years.
So that’s my passion story, but I’m wondering what is yours? What brings you joy? What can you add to bring joy to your soul and reconnect with your spirit? How can you find a feeling of childlike, youthful exploration and joy?
Drop me a line and feel free to connect with me if you’d like to discuss this subject more.